Pageant Mom Tells All

The Magic Word - Confidence

2010-11-09T22:40:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I have received a few requests lately to keep posting, so here we go.
Latest update. Two of my daughters returned to state competition last April. One place queen (winner) and is currently reigning here in the state of Mississippi. The other placed princess, again. They both moved on to World competition in July in the beautiful city of Scottsdale, AZ. One made top twelve and one did not. As always, I was extremely proud of them both. However, I had to start thinking... what is separating my girls from those who are winning these pageants.
Well, this past weekend, we returned to state competition. My oldest daughter as visiting royalty and my other two as comptetitors. Both placed princess. This is the third time in a row that my youngest daughter (8 years old, beautiful as can be) has placed princess and of course as a parent, I don't understand why, but as a judge... it is becoming clearer. Then today when I received her judges comments what I already know hits me like a ton of bricks. Following are some of her actual judges comments to make my point:

Interview: ... don't be nervous, you are beautiful...
Sportswear: ... make eye contact with the judges, smile bigger you are beautiful, own the stage, you are great!...
Party Dress: ... SMILE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL...

and my favorite from judge #2 ...LOTS OF POTENTIAL FOR WORLD CROWN, JUST SMILE AND SHOW THAT PERSONALITY...

Yep, there is the problem - confidence. How can a girl so beautiful be so lacking in confidence? The honest answer - who knows?

This is something I have seen in my past time judging pageants and directing pageants. The beautiful girl who finds it hard to win because she doesn't act like a winner. I have found myself writing these same comments on contestants cards and now I have to deal with it with my own daughter. The only question is how?

Well, I think that entering more pageants at this point is out. She has shown that she is lacking in confidence and if that translates to more losses then I think that is only going to work against us. So here is my plan and as we work over the next few months to prepare for World Competition in January - I will do my best to keep you updated.

Back to Basics
This means - 1) Daily practice smiling in the mirror. - I know this seems silly, but reminding her how she smiles when having fun and laughing while showing her how beautiful she is by looking in the mirror or taking pictures of these moments seems key.
2) Interview practice - Interview is normally the tiebreaker in the event of a tie at most pageants. Its not enough to sit still and look poised. We are going to build her up by practicing questions and allowing her to already have a good stock of answers for those most common interview questions. The more interview doesn't seem like a "pop quiz" the more she will speak up, make eye contact with the judges and smile. For more info on this check the archives for most often used pageant questions.
3)Practice, practice, practice, her modeling - Yep, she needs to know every modeling formation backwards and forwards and turns should be second nature. The less she has to think about these things the more she can concentrate on having fun (which I definately think is a skill, when you are being judged on your appearance).
Anyway, this is my three step plan and I will work hard on keeping you updated. I may even try to get some video up of our practice sessions.
More to follow,
Lindsey

Okay, Time to Update

2010-03-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I know it's been a long time, so I feel it is necessary to do one update blog before I get started on some more Pageant tips...

First of all, we did not attend our first world pageant in July of 2009, but I did have a major undertaking in getting three of my daughters world pageant ready by January of 2010.

Also, in the time I have been missing from my blog, I have directed my first preliminary pageant, judged a pageant for the first time, and I am currently busily organizing my second preliminary pageant - Miss Pumpkin Patch. All of this while preparing my daughters for their own competitions. So, you can see why I may have been a little preoccupied. I do, however, have plans for upcoming blogs on what judges are looking for (now from a judges perspective) as well as the pros and cons of professional make-up and hair styling at pageants. So stay tuned and check back.

By the way, two of my daughters placed Princess (runner-up) in our State pageant last October, and one placed Mini-Queen (second runner up) in the same pageant - each in their own age division. While they did not make finals at World's, they all did an amazing job, and I couldn't have been prouder of them at their first international pageant. And believe me - when an interpreter is needed and you can't understand him - it is definately an international pageant. :)

Top Ten Pageant Interview Questions

2009-05-19T00:35:00.000-07:00

In an effort to prepare my little one for her interview this July, and the other girls for upcoming interviews I have compiled a list of practice interview questions and their corresponding questions for the age 12 and under contestant. After the list of questions, I will have interview tips and techniques that have been taught to me by judges, directors and coaches that will help any pageant girl improve her interview.

1. If you had to eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? This is one of my favorites because many girls will be tempted to just answer their favorite food, but the why causes something like pizza, or macaroni and cheese to sound frivolous. Though they may never hear this question in an actual interview it is great for teaching a young girl how to think through her answers before speaking.

Under 12: What is your favorite food? Why? Please note that the why part of the question is omitted from most interview questions for the very young (4-6 or 7). However, it is important to try to coach the child not to just answer with one word. Ex. Instead of answering, "Pizza" she could answer "I like Pizza because it's gooey and cheesey."

2. What is the name of the contestant in front of or behind you and why do you think she should win the pageant? Obviously this can't be answered in a practice setting, but I am told it is a popular question, so use it to teach the interviewee to pay attention to the girls around them, get to know the other girls, and start thinking now about what qualities make a good "queen".

Under 12: Tell me the name of one of the other girls you like, and why you like her.

3. Which family member do you have the most in common with?

Under 12: What is something you like about your mom/dad/sister/brother?

4. Compare yourself to your favorite fictional character? Again this question teaches think before you speak.

Under 12: What is your favorite book? Why?

5. Name the three most important qualities of a friend?

Under 12: What is your best friends name? Why do you like him/her?

6. What is more important - beauty, wisdom, or wealth? Why?

7. Which TV program do you have the most in common with?

Under 12: What is your favorite TV show? Why?

8. If you know another contestant broke the rules, what would you do?

9. Where do you see yourself in five years? This could be asked with any time increment and is a favorite of judges.

Under 12: What do you want to be when you grow up?

10. Why are you competing in this pageant?

Under 12: Do you like competing in pageants? Why? This is usually asked in the natural pageant system to keep a lookout for girls that are being pushed by "pageant moms."

Now for a few quick tips. First of all, preparation is key. All girls should spend some amount of time going over questions in front of family and friends so that they can practice sitting with poise, making eye contact, not saying "um" or "like", etc. However, especially with the under 12 set, too much practice can be detrimental because a young girl that seems programmed or coached will not be able to let her personality shine through.

So here is the biggest NO, NO for under 12. Do not coach them to answer the question with the question. For example, "What is your favorite food?" "My favorite food is pizza.", or "What is something you like about your mother?" "Something I like about my mother is..." Answering this way is a dead ringer for coaching if the child can pull it off. Another thing that could happen is she gets stressed trying to remember how to answer the question. For the 7 and under age, many judges expect that they will need to pry a little to get the child to talk. So if she just answers "pizza" when asked the favorite food question, judges may follow up with "Does your mom let you eat pizza a lot?" and try to get some kind of dialogue going. For 7 to 12 just try to get them to understand that even if the question doesn't contain a "why" to try to add one in to the answer.

Another tip for young girls is to teach them how to stand up from a chair and how to sit in a chair without turning around. I know it is hard to picture, but most children start out climbing into and out of chairs. In a pageant interview setting, the judges get a view of the young ladies backside each time she sits or stands. So... try and teach them to slide into the chair by facing the front and pushing up with their hands and to slide out of the chair when standing. Also, sit on the edge of the chair and not all the way back in it so that the judges don't get a view of the bottom of their shoes. All young ladies, regardless of age should remember to cross their legs at the ankles (not the knees) and to fold hands gently in the lap.

Many times younger age girls will be brought in as a group to make them feel more at ease. Have your little one practice looking at the person that is speaking whether contestant or judge and smiling politely. No fidgeting, and no looking bored. Also, never ever speak when it is another person's question no matter how much you have to say.

The last tip I have is probably the most important, especially for older girls. Keep a copy of all of your pageant forms (entry forms, essays written, biographies, MC forms) the judges have these and they will ask you questions from them. Nothing could be worse than not remembering the things you wrote you were passionate about (charities, hobbies) when the judges want to know more. If you said your favorite organization is Green Peace, be prepared to talk about what Green Peace stands for and recent things they have done. If you said you want to be a doctor, be prepared to say what kind or recognize where that will put you in five years (college or med school). This is somewhat important for younger children as well and my best advice for little ones is don't make up the answers on the forms for them. You may think it is cute to say your 5 year old aspires to be a princess, but the judges will know you made it up when she answers that she wants to be a nurse like her mom. Yes, that is personal experience speaking. While judges know that little girls change their minds daily about favorite foods, colors, etc., they can spot a mom's cutsie answer from a mile away.

So that's it. Make eye contact, no fidgeting, act interested, think before you speak and don't overprepare. Sounds simple right. Well, let's hope so, but if you find yourself freaking out for your daughter just remind her to have fun, and while your at it you could try to have a little fun yourself.

Till next time,

Lindsey

Pageant Myth #2 Glitz Pageants Make Little Girls into Objects

2009-05-18T22:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this was a big decision. Natural or Glitz? Glitz or Natural? It's a big debate, and I respect moms and pageant contestants on both sides of it. So, I think I will just kind of lay out the pros and cons as I see them to each side.

Of course we can't start a discussion on natural or glitz without first explaining the difference between the two. The biggest difference between most natural and glitz pageants is the use of prosthetics. Fake hair, fake teeth, fake eyelashes, even color contacts are allowed in glitz pageants and they are used by the majority of contestants. Most natural pageants will disqualify a contestant for use of these devices. There is, however, little difference in natural and glitz when it comes to the amount of make-up used. While most natural pageants do have rules pertaining to how much make-up contestants may wear - the rules are usually very vague such as ... Make up is allowed on contestants 3 and up, but please keep the child looking their age. Pretty broad, huh. Imagine our surprise at our first natural pageant when the Queen of the 3-6 age group was crowned wearing more make-up than I wear when headed out to a New Year's Eve party.

Another difference between glitz pageants and natural pageants are the prizes. The overall winner of a glitz pageant can easily take home $500 to $1000 in cash. She will probably also be crowned with a 12 inch high or higher crown (which may or may not fit on her head), and will recieve a trophy that is many times taller than she is. Glitz pageants will also double crown, which means that you could win several crowns and titles at the same pageant. They will usually hand out titles like Queen, Supreme, Overall Supreme, Overall Grand Supreme, Overall Grand Beauty,etc. all in the same competition.

All of this "glitz" is enough to attract any little girl, but you should remember that all of this comes at a price, known as the entry fee. In fact, when my second daughter began to express intrest in pageants, I recieved a mailer from a very well known national glitz pageant and decided to enter her. I turned in the $50 deposit and recieved the rest of the information in the mail about two weeks later. After filling out the paperwork and checking all the little boxes of competitions for her to enter (most photogenic, living doll, best hair, overall supreme, you get the point right) I was amazed to see her entry fee push the $1000 mark. Add to that dresses, makeup, fake hair, and hotel for the weekend and all of a sudden the chance that she could win $500 didn't seem like such a great thing anymore. Needless to say, we lost that $50 deposit.

On the flip side, Natural Pageants are usually referred to as scholarship pageants. The winner will usually recieve a savings bond at the end of her reign and the amount is usually based on the number of contestants that were originally entered in her division. This tends to keep the entry fee down. Now, don't get me wrong, you can easily rack up a sizeable entry fee by entering "side competitions" like best hair, best dress, etc., but those fees are usually less than a comparable glitz pageant and there are usually a lot less options. Dresses may also cost less because they don't have as many sequins and beads, and outfits outside of the evening gown/party dress competition will cost a lot less because they will not be allowed to have anything shiny on them.

Okay, so here is where the controversy begins, and I hope I don't offend anyone. While I don't agree with the myth that Glitz pageants turn little girls into objects - I do believe that glitz pageants don't necessarily value the fact that little girls can be beautiful as is. For instance, how many times have you seen that first grade picture of a little girl with missing front teeth and thought, "How adorable!" I know I think that every time I look back on my own daughters pictures. Missing teeth, skint, or bruised knees are the things that make kids... well... kids, and I love that about my girls and value pageants that praise them for being who they are. The pageant we are involved in now even has a special time called "Playtime with the judges" when the judges get crazy with the kids and just observe them being who they are. I haven't found a glitz pageant that does this yet.

So, while I respect moms that are willing to go to all of the time, expense, and trouble it takes to compete and succeed in the glitz pageant circuit, I must say that in our house natural won the great debate because I want our pageant days to be about having fun together as mother and daughter and sisters, meeting new people, learning to present ourselves with grace and poise, realizing that "beauty is as beauty does", and that (I know this will sound hokey) we are all special just the way we are.

Pageant Myth #1 Does White Always Win?

2009-05-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the first pageant question I must address is what dress to wear. When choosing dresses for our first Beauty and Beau review - I must admit - I was floundering. After all, it was just a school fundraiser...right?

WRONG.

The dress is always important, and no matter what your told, having the right dress can easily be the difference between a crown or just flowers from mom and dad.

So the first thing I did was scour the Internet for pageant dresses. Boy, was I in for a big surprise. $1000 was the low end of cost for a pageant dress. Well, I wasn't going to pay that even if it were only one daughter in a pageant. Definitely not for three, and I'll let you in on a little secret - I still won't pay that for a dress. But, I did mess up. I found a website that sold junior bridesmaid dresses for $60 each. On pageant night, the looked like bridesmaid dresses and all of the other girls looked like brides. We left vowing to find the perfect dresses for next year without breaking the bank.

So, let's talk for a minute about the other girls that looked like brides. This is important, because a friend told me what I will dub Pageant Myth #1 "Always wear white. White wins."

While it is true that white can be stunning - let me offer some other advice. Wear what works for you, or your daughter as the case may be. Example: My 13yo daughter has long, gorgeous black hair and usually sports a bit of a tan. White is stunning on her, as it will be on most dark haired, darker complected girls. However, she doesn't like to wear white. This pageant girl is also a bit of a tomboy, and is worried that somehow she will ruin the dress before stage time. So there is no sense in dressing her in a stunning white gown that she walks like a mannequin in because she is uncomfortable. This past year, she wore a black and sequined gown that she picked out and loved. Notice the crown?

Example two: My six year old, also an avid pageant kid, is very fair with blond hair. I think she looks great in white, very angelic. However, I have been assured by many experienced pageant judges that white washes her out. You can't tell how angelic she is because she is lost in the dress. Therefore, mint greens, bubblegum pinks and other soft but not pastel colors suit her best.
Though I think she looks beautiful in both pictures, the white dress was specifically criticized in judges comments, and the green dress was praised.

So, No white does not always win. A dress that compliments coloring, hair, and sense of style and personality will always win out over the beauty pageant "truths".

Coming next... Choosing Natural or Glitz

Getting Started in Child Pageants

2009-05-09T16:45:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm Lindsey and I am a pageant mom in the making. I confess it, and - bit by bit - I'm becoming proud of it. To explain, I guess I must start from the beginning...

I am the mother of five beautiful children - four girls and one boy. When my girls started middle school, I was introduced to something titled the Beauty and Beau Review. Translation...pageant. Well, I'm all for supporting school fundraisers, but I had always said my girls were not pageant girls. I mean what is the point of standing on stage and just looking beautiful. Shouldn't there be talent... interview... some other reason to show their significance than looks, and how will they take it if they lose? Will it destroy their self-esteem forever?
Well, the cries of "Please, Mom, please!", and, "Everyone else gets to do it," finally won and we paid $30 times three girls to enter our first pageant.

Just so you know, entering a child pageant is never just as simple as the entry fee. There are dresses to find and buy (more about that later). Hair and make-up to do, and walking with turns to practice.

Well needless to say, our first adventure into the pageant world did not result in any crowns. However, in the year and a half since then, we have added five crowns and numerous banners to our collection. Most importantly, we are attending our first World level scholarship pageant in Orlando, FL this July.

This blog will chronicle our adventures as we ready for and attend our first World pageant. I will share the techniques that work, and what you should forget about, and hopefully in the end my precious little girl will come home with a crown, but even if she doesn't, she will come home with new friends, more experience and a bigger personality.

'Til next time.
Lindsey